No one, in four thousand years? It seems I have much making up to do for this injustice...
[Because this isn't even the first time that he has found Beelzebub's way with words to be beautiful. Beel deserves to know how much of an impact he has with them.
Just as in the past, he finds himself leaning into that touch- and leaning into Beelzebub proper.]
Thank you, Beel. I won't allow myself to squander the trust that you have given me another time.
[He can't lose sight of himself again. There is something more important than the truth, and that something—someone—is right in front of him.]
[He allows the lean in, settling next to Temenos. It's a relief, to hear the dedication, to knowing that his feelings are being given weight. Knowing that Temenos cares about him enough to even consider making that change... it settles some of the twist in his stomach.
But there's still something he wants to make clear. So he chews on his words in silence for a long moment.]
It's not just for me.
[Another squeeze of his leg, running his thumb against the knee.]
People need someone smart like you, somebody that will ask hard questions. I don't think what you do is bad.
...Promise me that you'll ask for help. It doesn't need to be from me. But you're not the only one that wants answers. You're not the only one with ideas. Everybody can work together. But... we need to talk, to do that. That means you, too.
[He leans his head to rest against the cleric's.]
You don't want me to give in to wrath. I don't want you to give in to pride.
[Temenos's eyes widen slightly when Beelzebub speaks up again. He hadn't even considered how susceptible to pride he'd made himself until now. He wouldn't have even solved the string of murders back home if it wasn't for the help he had received along the way.
Those...he had lost along the way.
Perhaps that is why he went in alone- and why he placated Lobelia as he did. He didn't want to lose anyone else, for how well that worked out for him.
He exhales slowly, bringing a hand up to put on top of Beelzebub's.]
I truly doubt people need me in that manner. You all have more than proven yourselves to be quite capable already, with or without my input.
[If anything, he feels like he has put himself in such a rut in this place. He's never lost sight of himself this deeply before.
But he is nothing if not determined. He'll claw his way back, so long as he remembers he doesn't have to do it alone.]
Still, I would like to continue to help in any way that I can. I intend to step back from now on, but I will always be within reach.
You're still who I placed my faith in. A mistake or two doesn't change that.
I believe in you, Temenos. I wouldn't have wanted to voice my feelings if I had thought you wouldn't listen to them.
[Had he not had plenty of examples of Temenos's patience with him already, it might have been different. But he never did like to think poorly without a good reason.]
I'd just get too hungry if I thought it was a waste of my time. So I'm glad I was right.
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[Because this isn't even the first time that he has found Beelzebub's way with words to be beautiful. Beel deserves to know how much of an impact he has with them.
Just as in the past, he finds himself leaning into that touch- and leaning into Beelzebub proper.]
Thank you, Beel. I won't allow myself to squander the trust that you have given me another time.
[He can't lose sight of himself again. There is something more important than the truth, and that something—someone—is right in front of him.]
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But there's still something he wants to make clear. So he chews on his words in silence for a long moment.]
It's not just for me.
[Another squeeze of his leg, running his thumb against the knee.]
People need someone smart like you, somebody that will ask hard questions. I don't think what you do is bad.
...Promise me that you'll ask for help. It doesn't need to be from me. But you're not the only one that wants answers. You're not the only one with ideas. Everybody can work together. But... we need to talk, to do that. That means you, too.
[He leans his head to rest against the cleric's.]
You don't want me to give in to wrath. I don't want you to give in to pride.
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Those...he had lost along the way.
Perhaps that is why he went in alone- and why he placated Lobelia as he did. He didn't want to lose anyone else, for how well that worked out for him.
He exhales slowly, bringing a hand up to put on top of Beelzebub's.]
I truly doubt people need me in that manner. You all have more than proven yourselves to be quite capable already, with or without my input.
[If anything, he feels like he has put himself in such a rut in this place. He's never lost sight of himself this deeply before.
But he is nothing if not determined. He'll claw his way back, so long as he remembers he doesn't have to do it alone.]
Still, I would like to continue to help in any way that I can. I intend to step back from now on, but I will always be within reach.
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You're hard on yourself.
You don't need to be.
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[He responds lightly, squeezing Beelzebub’s hand.]
Thank you, though. For everything.
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[All that talk of saying they didn't need him... maybe it was realistic, but it still doesn't feel right!]
I didn't do anything. But... you're welcome.
Thank you for listening to me.
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[There's some firmness to that. He's being serious.]
I wouldn't be so aware of the changes that I need to make if not for you. I want to be a better person... The Temenos that you placed your faith in.
[Someone his loved ones from home wouldn't look down on in disappointment.]
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I believe in you, Temenos. I wouldn't have wanted to voice my feelings if I had thought you wouldn't listen to them.
[Had he not had plenty of examples of Temenos's patience with him already, it might have been different. But he never did like to think poorly without a good reason.]
I'd just get too hungry if I thought it was a waste of my time. So I'm glad I was right.