[Haruka is quiet for a long moment, taking it all in, before he shifts to face Beel more directly. There’s so much he wants to ask, but it all feels so irrelevant and would only serve to sate his curiosity.
It won’t change that it all feels so… pointless and cruel. Why should Lilith have been punished for falling in love, even if it was with a human? If He didn’t want that, why make angels that could feel love in the first place?]
I’m sorry, Beel.
[…]
I hope she was at least happy, before everything went wrong.
I still feel guilty. That maybe if we'd said something sooner, Father wouldn't have had to intervene. We could have avoided war. Lilith could still be alive. If I'd been faster when the arrow was shot, maybe I could have saved her.
...
But... it's wishful thinking. I can't change our issues with Father, or how he thinks of us. I can't change how he thought of Lilith. And I can't bring her back.
[It still hurts to even acknowledge, to think of her face, to think of Belphie, to think of the sorrow that still hung heavy about her after millenia. But...
He lets out a breath.]
All I can do is... be me. Protect what I know I care about now.
[He looks over at Beel, wishing there was something he could do or say to make him not look as sad as he does right now. Loss is never something easy to deal with, but somehow it’s not something Haruka has much experience with. His parents died so early, it never bothered him - so he’s always been the one abandoned by others.
There’s nothing he can do to make it better.]
You did what you thought was right, and that’s all anyone case ask of you. Dwelling on what could have been is just stupid, because you’re only going to make yourself feel sorry for yourself.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
It won’t change that it all feels so… pointless and cruel. Why should Lilith have been punished for falling in love, even if it was with a human? If He didn’t want that, why make angels that could feel love in the first place?]
I’m sorry, Beel.
[…]
I hope she was at least happy, before everything went wrong.
[Even if it was a fleeting thing.]
no subject
I still feel guilty. That maybe if we'd said something sooner, Father wouldn't have had to intervene. We could have avoided war. Lilith could still be alive. If I'd been faster when the arrow was shot, maybe I could have saved her.
...
But... it's wishful thinking. I can't change our issues with Father, or how he thinks of us. I can't change how he thought of Lilith. And I can't bring her back.
[It still hurts to even acknowledge, to think of her face, to think of Belphie, to think of the sorrow that still hung heavy about her after millenia. But...
He lets out a breath.]
All I can do is... be me. Protect what I know I care about now.
no subject
There’s nothing he can do to make it better.]
You did what you thought was right, and that’s all anyone case ask of you. Dwelling on what could have been is just stupid, because you’re only going to make yourself feel sorry for yourself.
[…]
You’re okay. It won’t happen again.
[He’s sure of it.
(laugh track)]