[Hearing that confirms Temenos's fears about what Lobelia had said to Beelzebub. His expression hardens, but he otherwise keeps calm. He needs to be calm.]
As I have said before, Lobelia had a nasty penchant for singling out the weaknesses of others and exploiting them for his amusement...or for his own ends. He used your guilt as a weapon to goad you into a fight, and unfortunately, it played out exactly as he hoped.
You mustn't believe him, though. What happened to Haruka and Xiao could not have been prevented with how little prepared we were for it. You shouldn't shoulder the responsibility for that squarely upon yourself.
[Nor was it right for Lobelia to thrust blame upon him for it.]
Moreover... Allow me to ask you something: Do you truly wish to prove Lobelia right about anything after what he did to you? You've made your commitment to your family perfectly clear to me. Those weren't the words of a coward. You'll protect them, Beel. You won't lose anyone else.
[It's a response that comes quietly, the demon looking a little overwhelmed and choked up at Temenos's response. He's right, and Beelzebub knows it. But the self-doubt still knaws at him.
His eyes drift out to the water, lips thinning as his touch travels against Temenos's arm, trying to collect himself and his thoughts.]
...
You have a lot of faith in me. I don't always understand it. But... I'm glad that you listen.
[He sighs, some of the tension of his shoulders dropping with the action. It's not a problem that can be fixed in one conversation, or even one extended vacation. But there's a comfort in letting the vulnerability lie on someone who Beelzebub trusts.]
I hope you're right. I want to believe you, and not him.
[Smiling with melancholy, Temenos follows Beelzebub's gaze.]
"Doubt is what I do."
That was something of a catchphrase I'd developed for myself over the years. At first it was to protect my overly trusting brother from harm, but the world only kept giving me justification for my doubt. Soon enough, I couldn't even trust the Sacred Flame itself.
[He finally addresses the remainder of his cone before he continues.]
But I met someone during my travels who I came to hold dear. He often challenged my doubt and urged me to find faith in something again, even after I scoffed at his dreams and shook his very own trust in the church.
I hadn't realized how weary of that doubt I'd become until he confronted me about it.
[He lets out a sigh of his own and closes his eyes.]
I suppose this is my long-winded explanation for my faith in you. I want to support you to the best of my ability- to believe instead of doubt for a change. You are more than deserving of it.
[Doubt is powerful, after all. Especially self-doubt. If he can crack away at it bit by bit, then he'll consider it a success.]
[Much like with Lilith, Temenos's brother is a similarly rough topic to discuss. Still, he promised Beelzebub he would answer particularly difficult questions like these. It's only fair.]
I'll tell you about them both, but why don't we start with my brother for now? His name was Roi.
["Was"...]
I should clarify that we weren't related by blood, but we were both taken in by the pontiff around the same time and I quickly came to think of him as an older brother. We were both deeply devout followers of the Sacred Flame as we grew up together, though Roi was always a bit...too trusting. He only saw the good in people, and as such left himself vulnerable to being taken advantage of. Truly, he was too kind for his own good sometimes.
[And yet he can't help but look fond, in a distant sort of way.]
Mn. Family is family. Blood doesn't really matter.
[He keeps his hold steady against Temenos's arm, a quiet gathering of his attention as Temenos speaks. Temenos was a younger brother as well, then... and he doesn't miss the past tense, having just come off his own painful nostalgia.]
...Watching an older sibling do something you don't understand gets really hard sometimes, I think.
[He breathes out a mildly amused sigh. At least this is something the two of them can relate to.]
Doesn't it just?
[As for Beelzebub's question, he gives a light nod.]
Oh, so often that I lost count of how many times it happened a long time ago. Granted, those incidents never had terribly serious consequences. We were young, after all, and Roi eventually wised up enough to become an inquisitor.
...It was the moment he himself began to wholly doubt something that spelled his doom, ironically enough.
[Having Beelzebub's support as he recounts this terrible memory is comforting in a way Temenos couldn't quite explain if he tried. He finds himself leaning in a little heavily.]
He came to me late one night, stricken with fear over what he and the pontiff discovered within the church's interior. It was the Darkblood Bow- a terrible weapon of legend that was said to be used in an attempt to end the world. What was such a thing doing within the church? This shook Roi to his very core, shattering his trust in the Order.
He vowed to dispose of the bow, and to look into the church's secrets. He...forbade me from joining him, instead imploring me to carry on his work if something happened to him.
[It's still something that clearly pains him. If Roi hadn't gone it alone, would he still be alive?]
"The church has secrets. Extraordinary, terrible secrets."
Those were the final words he said to me before disappearing into the night. I never saw him again.
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no subject
As I have said before, Lobelia had a nasty penchant for singling out the weaknesses of others and exploiting them for his amusement...or for his own ends. He used your guilt as a weapon to goad you into a fight, and unfortunately, it played out exactly as he hoped.
You mustn't believe him, though. What happened to Haruka and Xiao could not have been prevented with how little prepared we were for it. You shouldn't shoulder the responsibility for that squarely upon yourself.
[Nor was it right for Lobelia to thrust blame upon him for it.]
Moreover... Allow me to ask you something: Do you truly wish to prove Lobelia right about anything after what he did to you? You've made your commitment to your family perfectly clear to me. Those weren't the words of a coward. You'll protect them, Beel. You won't lose anyone else.
no subject
[It's a response that comes quietly, the demon looking a little overwhelmed and choked up at Temenos's response. He's right, and Beelzebub knows it. But the self-doubt still knaws at him.
His eyes drift out to the water, lips thinning as his touch travels against Temenos's arm, trying to collect himself and his thoughts.]
...
You have a lot of faith in me. I don't always understand it. But... I'm glad that you listen.
[He sighs, some of the tension of his shoulders dropping with the action. It's not a problem that can be fixed in one conversation, or even one extended vacation. But there's a comfort in letting the vulnerability lie on someone who Beelzebub trusts.]
I hope you're right. I want to believe you, and not him.
no subject
"Doubt is what I do."
That was something of a catchphrase I'd developed for myself over the years. At first it was to protect my overly trusting brother from harm, but the world only kept giving me justification for my doubt. Soon enough, I couldn't even trust the Sacred Flame itself.
[He finally addresses the remainder of his cone before he continues.]
But I met someone during my travels who I came to hold dear. He often challenged my doubt and urged me to find faith in something again, even after I scoffed at his dreams and shook his very own trust in the church.
I hadn't realized how weary of that doubt I'd become until he confronted me about it.
[He lets out a sigh of his own and closes his eyes.]
I suppose this is my long-winded explanation for my faith in you. I want to support you to the best of my ability- to believe instead of doubt for a change. You are more than deserving of it.
[Doubt is powerful, after all. Especially self-doubt. If he can crack away at it bit by bit, then he'll consider it a success.]
no subject
You've never talked about your brother before. [It's a quiet remark, slightly surprised.]
...Would you tell me about him?? Or... this person that you met?
no subject
[Much like with Lilith, Temenos's brother is a similarly rough topic to discuss. Still, he promised Beelzebub he would answer particularly difficult questions like these. It's only fair.]
I'll tell you about them both, but why don't we start with my brother for now? His name was Roi.
["Was"...]
I should clarify that we weren't related by blood, but we were both taken in by the pontiff around the same time and I quickly came to think of him as an older brother. We were both deeply devout followers of the Sacred Flame as we grew up together, though Roi was always a bit...too trusting. He only saw the good in people, and as such left himself vulnerable to being taken advantage of. Truly, he was too kind for his own good sometimes.
[And yet he can't help but look fond, in a distant sort of way.]
no subject
[He keeps his hold steady against Temenos's arm, a quiet gathering of his attention as Temenos speaks. Temenos was a younger brother as well, then... and he doesn't miss the past tense, having just come off his own painful nostalgia.]
...Watching an older sibling do something you don't understand gets really hard sometimes, I think.
Did it get him into trouble a lot?
no subject
Doesn't it just?
[As for Beelzebub's question, he gives a light nod.]
Oh, so often that I lost count of how many times it happened a long time ago. Granted, those incidents never had terribly serious consequences. We were young, after all, and Roi eventually wised up enough to become an inquisitor.
...It was the moment he himself began to wholly doubt something that spelled his doom, ironically enough.
no subject
Doubting isn't always a bad thing, but...
[Doom is a pretty strong word, and even Beelzebub can connect two and two together.
The demon's palm runs steadily against Temenos's touch, his expression softening with concern.]
What happened?
no subject
He came to me late one night, stricken with fear over what he and the pontiff discovered within the church's interior. It was the Darkblood Bow- a terrible weapon of legend that was said to be used in an attempt to end the world. What was such a thing doing within the church? This shook Roi to his very core, shattering his trust in the Order.
He vowed to dispose of the bow, and to look into the church's secrets. He...forbade me from joining him, instead imploring me to carry on his work if something happened to him.
[It's still something that clearly pains him. If Roi hadn't gone it alone, would he still be alive?]
"The church has secrets. Extraordinary, terrible secrets."
Those were the final words he said to me before disappearing into the night. I never saw him again.