[Levi types out a reply in several different ways, but none of them come across in a way that truly conveys how pissed off he is. Instead, he records an audio clip.
He sounds genuinely hurt and upset.]
Stop turning this around on me. I'm being serious right now.
He shredded his arms in front of me, Bear. Talked about how nothing can hurt him in a way that matters as long as they remember him.
I figure you didn't mean it in a bad way, but...it hurt.
[But since Barrett apologized, it's easier for him to move back to the Lily subject.]
I just asked him why he wanted to keep Fandaniel around and the conversation led there. I guess he was trying to make a point to me, since I was worried about him being okay with being hated.
...He apologized when he realized how freaked out I was by all of that, but I don't know. I can't get it out of my head.
I just get worried when you talk like that. When you get really down on yourself. I never really know what to do to help you other than try to be there. It's scary, but I'd rather you have someone with you to remind you that you're a good guy than let you have those feelings all by yourself. I don't think any of us want you to feel alone or worthless. We love you.
That's why I mentioned it. I think I'd feel the same way you did, if Lily did that in front of me. I'd be scared.
[He can't take away the mental image, though he wishes he could. Levi didn't need that.]
Maybe there's something we can do to convince him of the same thing. That he doesn't need to do bad things like that to be worthwhile.
[There's a long pause on Levi's end as he takes that in. He wasn't expecting, well...any of it.
"I think you probably know that better than anybody, right?"
At first, it just felt like his loneliness was being rubbed in his face. Yeah, Levi sure knows what it's like to be cripplingly lonely! He sure rants about how sad and pathetic he is about it enough! But Barrett speaking plainly about how worried he and the rest of the family gets about it is eye-opening, to say the least.
It makes him curl up a little more tightly as he lies on his bed.]
...I've been doing better. Kara's helping me with that.
N-Not that I'm dismissing what you've done for me or anything. I don't know how to explain it well, but sometimes it's really hard to accept kind words when you're stuck in your own head. I've been trying to get out of that habit.
What you said just now...actually meant a lot to hear. So...thanks.
[With that said...he makes a noise of affirmation.]
Mm. I think it'd be really good if we could. We're supposed to be the protagonists, right? We can't end up on the villainous side.
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His vibes were just...off.
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I think you probably know that better than anybody, right?
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I don't remember my loneliness causing me to go off on villain-tier tangents.
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[what the fuck is a villian tier tangent]
cw self-harm mention
He sounds genuinely hurt and upset.]
Stop turning this around on me. I'm being serious right now.
He shredded his arms in front of me, Bear. Talked about how nothing can hurt him in a way that matters as long as they remember him.
That's not normal.
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Incoming call>>>]
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...
On the last ring, he picks up. He doesn't know what else to say, though, so he just makes a noncommittal noise to indicate that he's there.]
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...Are you okay?
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Did I sound okay?
[...and he winces as soon as he finishes.
There's an audible sigh, then:]
Sorry... I know that's not helpful right now.
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...It's okay. I should be the one apologizing. What I was saying wasn't being very kind to you.
I didn't know he did something like that in front of you. Why??
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[But since Barrett apologized, it's easier for him to move back to the Lily subject.]
I just asked him why he wanted to keep Fandaniel around and the conversation led there. I guess he was trying to make a point to me, since I was worried about him being okay with being hated.
...He apologized when he realized how freaked out I was by all of that, but I don't know. I can't get it out of my head.
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I just get worried when you talk like that. When you get really down on yourself. I never really know what to do to help you other than try to be there. It's scary, but I'd rather you have someone with you to remind you that you're a good guy than let you have those feelings all by yourself. I don't think any of us want you to feel alone or worthless. We love you.
That's why I mentioned it. I think I'd feel the same way you did, if Lily did that in front of me. I'd be scared.
[He can't take away the mental image, though he wishes he could. Levi didn't need that.]
Maybe there's something we can do to convince him of the same thing. That he doesn't need to do bad things like that to be worthwhile.
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"I think you probably know that better than anybody, right?"
At first, it just felt like his loneliness was being rubbed in his face. Yeah, Levi sure knows what it's like to be cripplingly lonely! He sure rants about how sad and pathetic he is about it enough! But Barrett speaking plainly about how worried he and the rest of the family gets about it is eye-opening, to say the least.
It makes him curl up a little more tightly as he lies on his bed.]
...I've been doing better. Kara's helping me with that.
N-Not that I'm dismissing what you've done for me or anything. I don't know how to explain it well, but sometimes it's really hard to accept kind words when you're stuck in your own head. I've been trying to get out of that habit.
What you said just now...actually meant a lot to hear. So...thanks.
[With that said...he makes a noise of affirmation.]
Mm. I think it'd be really good if we could. We're supposed to be the protagonists, right? We can't end up on the villainous side.