gluttoning | SATURDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL (The World)

Turned e'rrybody to 'n anim'l. Turned himself 'nto a bird. Angry bird.

[Oh, but Levi said he wanted this later. Okay. Okay, tell bird story later. He will remember this somehow.

He looks very seriously at the little lion plush in his hands.]

Ruru... sorry y' got turned into fuzz. I'dll be okay. T's not bad.

[Ruru the poor furry-coded lion magical girl now gets to live next to his shoulder because that's as far as he can put her.]

Y' not gonna go yet, right? Ah... I missed ya...

[Levi can’t help but laugh, about both the story snippet and Hana Ruri’s transformation into Ruru the lion. It makes the situation a little easier to bear.]

She believes you. She’s happy to be your fuzzy guardian.

[He reaches over to take control of the plush for a moment, making Ruru nuzzle up against Barrett’s cheek before setting her back.]

Heheh. See?

[He shakes his head when Barrett asks if he’s leaving, and pulls over a chair in the room to prove as much. He gets as close as he can and sits down.]

You missed me? Really…?

Edited 2023-09-18 03:28 (UTC)

[He leans over to the plushie to give it a smooch. There there, Ruru.]

'Course I do. Miss y' all the time. Wish y' could be with Book'r 'n I so we c'ld go more places....

Mn... Were we still gonna play games... later? Was gonna go home and... talk with ya...

[His brow furrows as his eyes shut a bit, concentrating. A momentary break in the fog. A realization that he's missing pieces, but unsure. Too tired to let it settle.]

What day is it 'gain...

Y…You do…?

[This probably isn’t even the first time that Barrett has expressed a sentiment like this, and yet now it hits Levi like a truck. It makes him stop and think about how much time with his brothers he’s missed out on, and how uncertain the future is now.

It leaves him especially vulnerable to be blindsided by what Barrett says next. His breath hitches in his throat, and the moment that Barrett spends contemplating is equal time for Levi to panic.

He hates this. He desperately doesn’t want to lie to Barrett, but he doesn’t want to break the news to him either. Lucas doesn’t want him to anyway. There’s…really no way that he can go about this without feeling horrible.

But he’ll get through it. He’ll be brave.]

It’s, uh…oh, Friday. You know how it is for me sometimes, the days just kinda blend together.

[He puts on a shaky smile, reaching for Barrett’s nearest hand.]

You just gotta get some rest first, then you can come home and play games with me. For as long as you wanna.

Edited (notices a typo 2 hours later—) 2023-09-18 06:12 (UTC)

[His nod is clumsy, the explanation seemingly good enough.]

Maybe Booker c'n come. He took a nap earlier. Trying to figure out why he isn' goin' to bed, ... but he got all mad at me.

[A pause, as he looks over Levi with softening eyes.]

...Proud of you, y'know. Everybody is.

[Phew. It worked. Levi continues to go along with it, nodding back.]

He's totally welcome to come too. I know you guys gotta head back later, but maybe we can... [He wavers for a moment. A deep breath, and he continues.] Maybe we can go get donuts before you do.

[Keeping up this act is agonizing, even if he knows it's for the best.

But he very quickly finds it falling apart, despite his efforts.

Don't look at him like that. Don't say that, he doesn't deserve it--

His had squeezes against Barrett's. Tears prick the corners of his eyes.]

...I don't know what I've done to make you say that.

[I couldn't protect you.]

[He just makes a messy psssssssh sound.]

Y'do a lot.

Ya could be givin' up but you don't. Ya could be hiding but ya don't. You're smilin' a lot. Leavin' your room more. Like ya got more reason t' enjoy yourself.

[Time to snuggle up to Ruru-chan.]

T's not luck. I remember, yknow. How bad it felt ta be scared when we were in th' alley n' stuff. N' I wondered a lot after that. How could Levi do it alllll the time? I'd wanna give up.

But ya aren't. Or yer finding reasons not ta.

[His smile, though wobbly, is soft and honest.]

'n I'm proud of ya.

O-Oh...

[His shoulders shake, his grip on Barrett beginning to tremble. A tear rolls down his cheek, followed by another...and a few more still. At least he can disguise these tears as something unrelated to Barrett's condition now.

The darkest corner of his mind wants to write all of this off. Barrett's just saying this to be nice. I'm just the same old shut-in I've always been. I've long since given up. Maybe if I hadn't, I'd have been able to do something for you.

I'm useless.

But when he looks at Barrett, knowing he's speaking nothing but pure, unfiltered honesty, he finds it within himself to push those dark thoughts away. If Barrett thinks he hasn't given up, then...maybe that's actually true. And if that's true, then he certainly can't give up now, either.

His sniffles, rubbing at his eyes with his sleeve.]

Thank you, Bear... I hope you kn-know I'm just as proud of you, too.

[He'd told Barrett as much on Friday, but it may as well have not happened yet in his hazy state. So Levi intends to reiterate it, because it's still true, no matter what happens from here on.]

Seeing how far you've come makes me so...h-h-happy.

[His grip in Levi's squeezes, just barely, his brow furrowing at the shedding of tears.]

You don' need to cry, Levi... 'Ts okay. Always wanted to make ya proud, heh. When I'd watch ya swim. So hearin' that -- it makes me feel good.

Love ya a lot. Mn... whadda your animes and stuff call it...

[Oh. Wait, he doesn't think to anime. He thinks to someone else, and he chuckles to himself, a little deliriously.]

Mn.

Nii-chan.

[Despite Barrett's best efforts, his sentiments only increase the waterworks.

When he'd watch me swim...

Wait.

Nii-chan?!]

H-H-How can you say I-I don't need to cry when you g-go and s-s-say that? [A quiet sob escapes, followed by a hiccup.] All of that?!

[He really, really should not be getting so emotionally charged in front of his poor recovering brother though, so he desperately tries to reel it in. He takes a deep breath and sniffles again.]

I...I love you, too. Let's go swimming again sometime, okay? I, um... I wanna see how far your cannonballs have come since last time.

[Back then, he'd constantly complain that Barrett was ruining his concentration. But he always liked watching anyway.]

Heheh...

Gonna make a splash a lot bigger than before. So much it'll get Aiden when he's sunbathin'... heh.

[Ah, but he's woozy. He doesn't want to sleep just yet. His hand grips a little firmer with a deep inhale.]

Mmn... you still talkin' to Kara 'bout stuff? Hope so... I hope so...

[A light laugh escapes through the tears. Apparently the thought of interrupting Aiden's sunbathing is enough to cheer Levi up a little.]

You've grown a lot since then, so...I bet you'll get him, and maybe even Matt while you're at it.

[Wherever Matt happens to be, he deserves to be blindsided, okay?

Kara being brought up catches him off guard, though.]

W-Well, we've been talking... [He tips his head, letting his thumb gently massage against Barrett's hand.] What kinda stuff were you hoping that we're talking about, though?

She likes you a lot. 'N you like her a lot. Haven't seen ya' so happy in forever, Levi.

[His smile could be almost impish if not for the drugs.]

Don't think it's aaaany of my business whatcha' talk 'bout... but I hope ya' talk a lot. 'N talk about both bad and good.

Sh' was kinda lonely when I knew her, y'know. So I think it'd be good f' her, too.

[Ah, but he's getting tired. The spots are starting to dance in his eyes again, and that fog that settles in so deep... Maybe he really should sleep soon.]

SATURDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL (The World)

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