gluttoning | SATURDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL (The World)

わかる。

[ one word, nearly toneless. everything after is said under their breath, knowing he’ll catch every word. but only him. they don’t want to be brittle in front of bear’s brothers. ]

ジャスティ君いなくても、僕．．．生きていく。それくらいできる。

[ that’s the most they can offer, something realistic for them. a promise they can keep. asking for happiness at that point seems nigh impossible.

意味ない、意味ない

if there’s only one left, out of three, what would be their purpose past simply existing until they reach their own entrance to 「黄泉」…? ]

ジャスティ君のせいじゃない。僕、自分勝手で、欲張りだよ。

[ Tylor is quiet through the loss of tone, the drop of their voice. He hears it all, tension easing, only for him to match Hani's volume. Outwardly, he looks calm as ever watching the room while stroking Hani's hair gently. But this close, there's no missing the heat of it, the slip back into intimate by speech choice alone.

ハニー, ハニー, ハニー. ]

今ハニーをとても愛してハニーはその気持ちを決して忘れること。

[ That's all, until the rest tumbles out of Hani. His fingers curl just a touch. ]

Shh. [ comforting, soft, in no way a shushing. ] ハニーもせいじゃないよ。まだ愛している。ぼくに悪い人で壊れた人じゃない。You're just right, 覚えていないの？

ハニーはぼくとモルガンの素晴らしくユニークなハニーだ。そんな大切なことを忘れないでください。

[ hani breathes in the scent of his love, clean cypress and everything else that makes up justy, ueki, and tylor. some of that is their own scent now, too, from their bed to their laundry mixed into a basket of each other. ]

うん、この気持ちは消えない。僕、この気持ちを、この愛をあきらめない。忘れられない。

[ sometimes. sometimes they have the urge to just sit in his things, wear his clothes and be surrounded by all little parts of him scattered around the apartment. every good and messy thing. every cluttered part of him charms them, every simple desire they want to take as their own and grant it to him.

but some things aren’t possible for them, and they can only offer what is. ]

君たちいなくても．．．そのとき、僕は幸せを見つけられないかも。でもね、それまでの幸福の思い出を決して忘れないと。

[ memories engraved on their lonely heart should they arrive at the end alone. that's why… ]

大丈夫さ。

それからぼくが求めることができるのはそれだけだ。

[ And yet, the way he says it, the way he presses another light kiss to Hani's hair by its end, is pure and honest contentment. Because Hani is enough, as they always will be for as long as Tylor is permitted to stay by their side. Accepted wholly, thoroughly.

Seriousness can only ever last so long with Tylor. So despite the warmth, he playfully mirrors their words back again. Just like they'd done to him. ]

ハニーも大丈夫さ。

[ There's a squeeze, a brief pause, before-- ]

ねーお腹すいたの？

[ and it cycles back to both of them being enough for each other.

hani brings his hand to their lips, holding it in both of theirs like a wish, like hope. they press a long kiss to the back of it and murmur a spell in three words. ]

ううん、まだ。あとで、家族として………モルガン君も、お兄さんも。[ they switch back to english. ] All of us, together.

… If we don’t feed him, he might not eat.

うん。家族として。もちろん。

[ It's the first time he's thought of it like that since his parents. A comfortable warmth settles in his core at Hani's phrasing, melting him a little more subtly against them.

But Tylor follows seamlessly back into English. ]

Oh, you're right. Let's go later then, all together.

[ For now, peace. ]

SATURDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL (The World)

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