[He stays diligently silent as Xiao speaks more and with more wisdom in a few moments than he thinks he's heard from the Conqueror in the entire last week combined. It keeps him focused, and lets the words have their weight in the moment.]
Xiao...
[He can't believe it, and it echoes the same twist that he's used to feeling. It's not your fault. You didn't know. It's in the past. To hear that, when he still remembers the faces, still remembers the fear, still looks at the hole that could have been created just like before...
Again, and again, and again. Is it always going to crumble with him?
...
Still. Xiao's growth shines, and Beel would have to blind not to see it.]
...It's hard, isn't it. When life moves so fast, and leaves everyone else behind. The memories don't get easier.
...
Of course we're friends, Xiao. That was never a question.
[ All he can do is nod, at that. The memories don't get easier to stomach, no matter how many times he has to live through the lens of the past – seeing his friends die and crumble apart in front of him will always feel raw in his heart. Still, he was once so jaded, cynical, and being here has ignited something in him despite their grim circumstances.
Hope. And it's people like Beel who make that possible. Losing him would have hurt more than Xiao could have thought it would just a few weeks ago, but their camaraderie makes things seem less hopeless.
He puts a hand on the other's shoulder, closes his eyes, and lets out a breath that gives way to how he's feeling. He's glad they're all still here. ]
Don't blame yourself for anything that's happened. The only thing I feel towards you is gratitude.
[He nods, but it's silent. Whether or not he can separate from the blame feels like an impossible obstacle. But:]
Gratitude? Did I do something?
[Ah, but there goes his stomach again. He looks down awkwardly as he fumbles for the snack bag to rip it open and take a handful of whatever's inside. He didn't even check. He doesn't care right now.]
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gluttoning) wrote2023-05-13 09:30 pm
no subject
Xiao...
[He can't believe it, and it echoes the same twist that he's used to feeling. It's not your fault. You didn't know. It's in the past. To hear that, when he still remembers the faces, still remembers the fear, still looks at the hole that could have been created just like before...
Again, and again, and again. Is it always going to crumble with him?
...
Still. Xiao's growth shines, and Beel would have to blind not to see it.]
...It's hard, isn't it. When life moves so fast, and leaves everyone else behind. The memories don't get easier.
...
Of course we're friends, Xiao. That was never a question.
no subject
Hope. And it's people like Beel who make that possible. Losing him would have hurt more than Xiao could have thought it would just a few weeks ago, but their camaraderie makes things seem less hopeless.
He puts a hand on the other's shoulder, closes his eyes, and lets out a breath that gives way to how he's feeling. He's glad they're all still here. ]
Don't blame yourself for anything that's happened. The only thing I feel towards you is gratitude.
no subject
Gratitude? Did I do something?
[Ah, but there goes his stomach again. He looks down awkwardly as he fumbles for the snack bag to rip it open and take a handful of whatever's inside. He didn't even check. He doesn't care right now.]