[He glances back over, going quiet at Beel's words.
Is he right? Does Haruka not have to accept anyone here? Does he not have to accept anyone who's ever thought of doing something wrong? Wouldn't it just make him a hypocrite? He might not have blood on his hands, the way other people do, but he can't ignore that he's also done horrible things to people who... truthfully, didn't deserve it. He directed his anger and pain at someone who had no idea of what had been done behind his back, ruining his career - his life - simply because he could. Because he thought he deserved it.
In another world, would Haruka have gone one step further? If he was able to, would he have killed Tenn out of his anger?]
...Beel...
[He sighs.]
I don't know that I'm as innocent as you think I am. If I was like you, maybe I would have done the same. I don't know.
[His lips thin into something carefully neutral, an oddly serious look that doesn't quite match his normal stony blankness.]
I don't think you're innocent. I don't know that an innocent person would ever say as much.
But to say I'm not any worse... You know you're saying that to one of the Rulers of Hell. Right?
Nothing you've done can match some of the sins I've seen come through the Devildom, Haruka. If you want to become a better person for yourself, then that's fine. If you see that you've made mistakes, and you know they were mistakes, that's fine. That's human.
But let hell choose whether to condemn you or not. Don't do that for them.
[Haruka shoots him a look back, not about to let this go without a fight. He's too stubborn for his own good, honestly, and maybe he shouldn't be fighting when Beel is waiting for the gallows, but...
He can't leave things unsaid.]
Maybe you're right, but I don't think you should write yourself off as just - a sin. You're not all bad, even if you're a demon. Even if you were cast out of Heaven, you're not entirely without goodness. You care about people, and you want to protect them, so if I'm not a monster then you're not one either.
[He huffs one last time, before his expression softens]
…I’m going to miss you.
[It’s a quiet admission, as he looks at Beel on the other side of the bars. He wants to think he can manage being alone again, because at least he’ll still have Xiao and the likes of Wei Wuxian and Wang Lu, but…
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Is he right? Does Haruka not have to accept anyone here? Does he not have to accept anyone who's ever thought of doing something wrong? Wouldn't it just make him a hypocrite? He might not have blood on his hands, the way other people do, but he can't ignore that he's also done horrible things to people who... truthfully, didn't deserve it. He directed his anger and pain at someone who had no idea of what had been done behind his back, ruining his career - his life - simply because he could. Because he thought he deserved it.
In another world, would Haruka have gone one step further? If he was able to, would he have killed Tenn out of his anger?]
...Beel...
[He sighs.]
I don't know that I'm as innocent as you think I am. If I was like you, maybe I would have done the same. I don't know.
[...]
But I don't think you're any worse then I am.
no subject
[His lips thin into something carefully neutral, an oddly serious look that doesn't quite match his normal stony blankness.]
I don't think you're innocent. I don't know that an innocent person would ever say as much.
But to say I'm not any worse... You know you're saying that to one of the Rulers of Hell. Right?
Nothing you've done can match some of the sins I've seen come through the Devildom, Haruka. If you want to become a better person for yourself, then that's fine. If you see that you've made mistakes, and you know they were mistakes, that's fine. That's human.
But let hell choose whether to condemn you or not. Don't do that for them.
no subject
He can't leave things unsaid.]
Maybe you're right, but I don't think you should write yourself off as just - a sin. You're not all bad, even if you're a demon. Even if you were cast out of Heaven, you're not entirely without goodness. You care about people, and you want to protect them, so if I'm not a monster then you're not one either.
[Huff puff.]
no subject
[Okay, he can't help himself. Beelzebub's expression breaks slightly, eyes crinkling as he starts to chuckle.]
You really are kind, Haru. Mean about it sometimes. Kind of like Mammon. But... still kind.
...
Okay. If you're not a monster... then neither am I.
I won't forget that. Or you.
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…I’m going to miss you.
[It’s a quiet admission, as he looks at Beel on the other side of the bars. He wants to think he can manage being alone again, because at least he’ll still have Xiao and the likes of Wei Wuxian and Wang Lu, but…
He won’t have them forever, either.]