I think it's why he was online all the time. He can't do a lot on his own. I think the game helped him feel he has some more independence sometimes without the risk.
Maybe. I didn't really know much about him. We mostly had weird convos when we did talk. But he seemed really dedicated to the game and I always respected that.
Yeah. I don't plan on giving up looking into things. It's the least I can do.
That's just bullshit though. Any player can kill another player, but this is going far beyond PK mechanics. Something is wrong with the game itself, and we were supposed to be able to prevent anyone from getting hurt for real.
[Levi types out a reply in several different ways, but none of them come across in a way that truly conveys how pissed off he is. Instead, he records an audio clip.
He sounds genuinely hurt and upset.]
Stop turning this around on me. I'm being serious right now.
He shredded his arms in front of me, Bear. Talked about how nothing can hurt him in a way that matters as long as they remember him.
I figure you didn't mean it in a bad way, but...it hurt.
[But since Barrett apologized, it's easier for him to move back to the Lily subject.]
I just asked him why he wanted to keep Fandaniel around and the conversation led there. I guess he was trying to make a point to me, since I was worried about him being okay with being hated.
...He apologized when he realized how freaked out I was by all of that, but I don't know. I can't get it out of my head.
I just get worried when you talk like that. When you get really down on yourself. I never really know what to do to help you other than try to be there. It's scary, but I'd rather you have someone with you to remind you that you're a good guy than let you have those feelings all by yourself. I don't think any of us want you to feel alone or worthless. We love you.
That's why I mentioned it. I think I'd feel the same way you did, if Lily did that in front of me. I'd be scared.
[He can't take away the mental image, though he wishes he could. Levi didn't need that.]
Maybe there's something we can do to convince him of the same thing. That he doesn't need to do bad things like that to be worthwhile.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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...
I hope the cops can figure something out. But I've got this sinking feeling in my gut that it's all gonna get covered up.
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The least we can do is try.
1/2
Yeah. I don't plan on giving up looking into things. It's the least I can do.
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Something inside of him finally caves, and he finishes the thought he briefly entertained on Saturday.]
I just thought we were going to be able to prevent something like this.
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Yeah. Me too.
Maybe it's because whoever did it was a player? Lily wants to focus on his dad and CCCorp.
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Maybe that means Mithrun isn't hurt?
Lily wouldn't tell me anything. But you're right. He promised we'd be able to help.
If Mithrun's out there somewhere, maybe that's why Lily isn't concerned.
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Because why tf would he need to do the latter if he knows Mithrun is out there and perfectly fine?
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I trust him.
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I just...worry about him sometimes.
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I worry, too. But this isn't what I'd usually worry about for him.
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His vibes were just...off.
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I think you probably know that better than anybody, right?
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I don't remember my loneliness causing me to go off on villain-tier tangents.
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[what the fuck is a villian tier tangent]
cw self-harm mention
He sounds genuinely hurt and upset.]
Stop turning this around on me. I'm being serious right now.
He shredded his arms in front of me, Bear. Talked about how nothing can hurt him in a way that matters as long as they remember him.
That's not normal.
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Incoming call>>>]
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...
On the last ring, he picks up. He doesn't know what else to say, though, so he just makes a noncommittal noise to indicate that he's there.]
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...Are you okay?
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Did I sound okay?
[...and he winces as soon as he finishes.
There's an audible sigh, then:]
Sorry... I know that's not helpful right now.
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...It's okay. I should be the one apologizing. What I was saying wasn't being very kind to you.
I didn't know he did something like that in front of you. Why??
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[But since Barrett apologized, it's easier for him to move back to the Lily subject.]
I just asked him why he wanted to keep Fandaniel around and the conversation led there. I guess he was trying to make a point to me, since I was worried about him being okay with being hated.
...He apologized when he realized how freaked out I was by all of that, but I don't know. I can't get it out of my head.
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I just get worried when you talk like that. When you get really down on yourself. I never really know what to do to help you other than try to be there. It's scary, but I'd rather you have someone with you to remind you that you're a good guy than let you have those feelings all by yourself. I don't think any of us want you to feel alone or worthless. We love you.
That's why I mentioned it. I think I'd feel the same way you did, if Lily did that in front of me. I'd be scared.
[He can't take away the mental image, though he wishes he could. Levi didn't need that.]
Maybe there's something we can do to convince him of the same thing. That he doesn't need to do bad things like that to be worthwhile.
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