I hope you like it. I smelled wine in your drink when we were at the party. So I wanted to see if we could make something that tasted complicated like that.
[Carefully holding that out to him while eyeing Temenos's creation .]
Mine smells like a strawberry cloud cake... I don't know if I can wait.
[True to what Temenos probably expects, Beelzebub's charging straight through the cone the second it's in his hands. But thankfully, he leaves some behind - they still have to talk, and he can't carry the whole ice cream buffet with him (yet) - and holds out his free hand.]
[Hey, Temenos is just pleased that his creation has been well-received! He laughs as Beel goes to town on it. He's much more reserved with his cone, savoring the flavor as he slowly licks at it. Beelzebub will be able to see the happiness plain on his face, though. He likes it a lot.
He easily slots his hand in with Beel's and nods.]
Lead on.
[He gets to be the sheep being shepherded in this instance? Incredible.
Anyway, he's made decent progress on his cone once they make it to the waterfall...and he can't help but peer around for any lingering threats.]
I see they really did clean this place up well. The destruction would have blemished the lovely views here otherwise.
[He confirms with a noise rather than words, since he's in the middle of savoring some ice cream and not thinking about the Maxeta confrontration, thanks.
He quickly swallows it to speak soon after, though.]
No, no, we can stay here. I am hardly deterred. [He gives their held hands a little swing.] You chose well- it is quite picturesque.
[He'll lead them down towards the bottom of the falls, still far enough away that the crashing water wouldn't be too deafening, where the night sky was still plenty visible above and the grass was soft under the feet. It's here that he settles to a seat, encouraging Temenos to sit with him.]
Lilith and Belphie liked coming to places like these sometimes, when we would visit the human world. They both liked being around people, and seeing what their kind were like and how they would change. But Belphie liked to take us to see the stars in places like this, where humans hadn't touched just yet.
The human world is beautiful in a way even the Celestial Realm can't match sometimes. I think that's what Lilith might have thought, anyway.
[Temenos isn't far behind him. He carefully kneels down, balancing his cone in the process, and settles against Beel once he's situated.
He keeps his eyes on the stars as Beelzebub speaks of his siblings, imagining what these little human world visits must have been like. He also smiles to himself, remembering the times when he and Roi would sneak out of the monastery to view the night sky above Solistia.]
There is something to be said about viewing the night sky away from civilization. You'll never see anything quite this stunning in the city where the light pollution is strong.
[It's still interesting for him to think about how angels and demons could just venture to the human world. It makes him wonder just how often it might happen in Solistia without his realizing. Would his views on the gods' negligence change if he knew?]
...Beel, would you mind telling me more about Lilith?
[If now is not the right time, then he'll drop it. But Beelzebub brought her up freely, so...he's curious.]
He nods quietly, leaning his hands against his knees.]
...She was our little sister. Belphie and Lilith and I... we always spent a lot of time together in the Celestial Realm. We were really close.
She was always getting into trouble. She loved challenges, and asking us to do things with her. But what she really loved was humanity. I think she got it from Belphie. He'd always sneak off to the human world, and she loved Belphie so much that she would go with him.
He can't help but think about a similar miscommunication in their first meeting, and how drastically things have changed since then. At least small joys like this haven't changed one bit.]
Not quite, though it is the same word. I speak of an adherent in the context of a religious disciple. For example, I am an adherent of the Order of the Sacred Flame, albeit a more dubious one in recent years.
[Disciple he knows!! Education! Still, he shakes his head.]
No. No disciples. Our Father had millions. But angels can't really be worshipped the same way. They can only choose one human to be a personal guardian over. So it's better to keep a distance and not interfere with humanity.
...
Lilith was different, though. She always wanted to be with them.
And she eventually found someone. Not who she wanted to be guardian towards... but a human she loved.
Yeah. The love of a guardian is close, but... this wasn't that. It was romantic.
We didn't mind. Lilith was really happy. Really, really happy.
[He wonders, so often, if they'd stepped in earlier... if they could have prevented too much of an escalation.]
But humans don't live forever. This one didn't either. They got sick. And Lilith... she didn't want to see them die. So she snuck food from the Celestial Realm down to them to help heal them. She interfered.
Temenos frowns, knowing where this must be going. It's not just that, though. Just knowing that the Celestial Realm apparently doesn't interfere with these sorts of things is disappointing. He remembers spending so much time fervently praying to the gods to help Roi when he was similarly sick. Roi recovered, but...Temenos honestly doubts that it had anything to do with his prayers being answered. It just gives him all the more confirmation he needs that his choice to stop relying on gods was the right one.
He's sure there's a difference, with Lilith directly interacting with this person and potentially revealing her true identity. It's risky, what with the darkness that naturally dwells within humans. Even so...]
Lucifer had already been dissatisfied with Father. A lot of us were having doubts. But that just pushed us over the edge. We started a war with Father and the Celestial Realm. Lilith joined us.
I was in charge of protecting both of them. Belphie, and Lilith. But...
I didn't see the arrows until they were too late. And when I did, I... I only had time to choose one.
I watched her be shot from heaven. And Belphie... I don't know if he'll ever forgive me for that. For choosing him, instead of...
[It had to have fallen on him. His strength. His family. She might be here if not for what he couldn't do. Maybe if he'd payed more attention. Maybe if he'd kept them all together. Maybe...
Maybe he wouldn't have to see his family now with a hole in their heart where their sister used to be... the sister they wanted to save from death in the first place.]
[That's really fucking aggressive. And yet Temenos can't even find an ounce of surprise within himself. This is what led to the brothers being cast out of heaven, then...
All of his attention focuses on Beelzebub from there on, watching him with growing concern as he recounts that horrible moment.]
Beel...
[If Beelzebub will allow it, Temenos shifts to link their arms again so he can hold onto him in a comforting gesture.]
That is a truly impossible choice to be forced into. I am so very sorry.
[The guilt in Beelzebub's eyes that Temenos has seen before makes so much more sense now. He doubts he could offer any sentiments that would assuage any of that guilt, but he can at the very least offer an ear and perhaps a shoulder.]
[What a horrible thing to have etched into ones memory. Part of Temenos wonders if Beelzebub has dreams about it sometimes. He would understand that all too well.
He squeezes back, further reassuring Beelzebub of his presence.]
Fortunately, that did not come to pass. You've been through more than enough.
[He was horrified in the moment, though. It was just like what happened to Crick, only he was there to witness it firsthand. He wouldn't blame Beelzebub for it one bit if he had heard what Lobelia said to him, though. It was just...simply terrible in any angle one would look at it.]
I am still here, and I promise you that I am not going anywhere. I'll be here at your side for as long as you'll allow me.
[He sighs wearily as he leans into Temenos, keeping that grip against him firm. This... he doesn't want to think about losing this, too.]
...Lobelia spoke to me, before everything went bad. In my head. He's done it before.
He called me a coward. That I couldn't protect my family, and would never protect them, and that I couldn't protect Haruka and Xiao, either. That it was all my fault for not...
...
[He exhales, frustrated, pained... but Temenos is his grounding, of touch and smell and sight and the sound of his breath against the crash of the falls. So he tries to let the tension sink to the ground, letting his touch rub against Temenos's arm.]
I didn't want to believe him. But it's hard not to.
[Hearing that confirms Temenos's fears about what Lobelia had said to Beelzebub. His expression hardens, but he otherwise keeps calm. He needs to be calm.]
As I have said before, Lobelia had a nasty penchant for singling out the weaknesses of others and exploiting them for his amusement...or for his own ends. He used your guilt as a weapon to goad you into a fight, and unfortunately, it played out exactly as he hoped.
You mustn't believe him, though. What happened to Haruka and Xiao could not have been prevented with how little prepared we were for it. You shouldn't shoulder the responsibility for that squarely upon yourself.
[Nor was it right for Lobelia to thrust blame upon him for it.]
Moreover... Allow me to ask you something: Do you truly wish to prove Lobelia right about anything after what he did to you? You've made your commitment to your family perfectly clear to me. Those weren't the words of a coward. You'll protect them, Beel. You won't lose anyone else.
[It's a response that comes quietly, the demon looking a little overwhelmed and choked up at Temenos's response. He's right, and Beelzebub knows it. But the self-doubt still knaws at him.
His eyes drift out to the water, lips thinning as his touch travels against Temenos's arm, trying to collect himself and his thoughts.]
...
You have a lot of faith in me. I don't always understand it. But... I'm glad that you listen.
[He sighs, some of the tension of his shoulders dropping with the action. It's not a problem that can be fixed in one conversation, or even one extended vacation. But there's a comfort in letting the vulnerability lie on someone who Beelzebub trusts.]
I hope you're right. I want to believe you, and not him.
[Smiling with melancholy, Temenos follows Beelzebub's gaze.]
"Doubt is what I do."
That was something of a catchphrase I'd developed for myself over the years. At first it was to protect my overly trusting brother from harm, but the world only kept giving me justification for my doubt. Soon enough, I couldn't even trust the Sacred Flame itself.
[He finally addresses the remainder of his cone before he continues.]
But I met someone during my travels who I came to hold dear. He often challenged my doubt and urged me to find faith in something again, even after I scoffed at his dreams and shook his very own trust in the church.
I hadn't realized how weary of that doubt I'd become until he confronted me about it.
[He lets out a sigh of his own and closes his eyes.]
I suppose this is my long-winded explanation for my faith in you. I want to support you to the best of my ability- to believe instead of doubt for a change. You are more than deserving of it.
[Doubt is powerful, after all. Especially self-doubt. If he can crack away at it bit by bit, then he'll consider it a success.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[Carefully holding that out to him while eyeing Temenos's creation .]
Mine smells like a strawberry cloud cake... I don't know if I can wait.
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[He takes the cone with one hand and passes Beelzebub's over with his other.]
Well, I won't make you hold back. I simply must warn you that I might be a tad slower with mine.
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[True to what Temenos probably expects, Beelzebub's charging straight through the cone the second it's in his hands. But thankfully, he leaves some behind - they still have to talk, and he can't carry the whole ice cream buffet with him (yet) - and holds out his free hand.]
Come on. I know where we can go.
[Off to the waterfall.]
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He easily slots his hand in with Beel's and nods.]
Lead on.
[He gets to be the sheep being shepherded in this instance? Incredible.
Anyway, he's made decent progress on his cone once they make it to the waterfall...and he can't help but peer around for any lingering threats.]
I see they really did clean this place up well. The destruction would have blemished the lovely views here otherwise.
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[His brow tightens as he slips the remainder of his cone into his own mouth. Oh well. He tried so hard to make it last the whole walk.]
We can go somewhere else, if it feels too strange. I just thought it was pretty.
You can see a lot of stars from here, too.
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[He confirms with a noise rather than words, since he's in the middle of savoring some ice cream and not thinking about the Maxeta confrontration, thanks.
He quickly swallows it to speak soon after, though.]
No, no, we can stay here. I am hardly deterred. [He gives their held hands a little swing.] You chose well- it is quite picturesque.
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[He'll lead them down towards the bottom of the falls, still far enough away that the crashing water wouldn't be too deafening, where the night sky was still plenty visible above and the grass was soft under the feet. It's here that he settles to a seat, encouraging Temenos to sit with him.]
Lilith and Belphie liked coming to places like these sometimes, when we would visit the human world. They both liked being around people, and seeing what their kind were like and how they would change. But Belphie liked to take us to see the stars in places like this, where humans hadn't touched just yet.
The human world is beautiful in a way even the Celestial Realm can't match sometimes. I think that's what Lilith might have thought, anyway.
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He keeps his eyes on the stars as Beelzebub speaks of his siblings, imagining what these little human world visits must have been like. He also smiles to himself, remembering the times when he and Roi would sneak out of the monastery to view the night sky above Solistia.]
There is something to be said about viewing the night sky away from civilization. You'll never see anything quite this stunning in the city where the light pollution is strong.
[It's still interesting for him to think about how angels and demons could just venture to the human world. It makes him wonder just how often it might happen in Solistia without his realizing. Would his views on the gods' negligence change if he knew?]
...Beel, would you mind telling me more about Lilith?
[If now is not the right time, then he'll drop it. But Beelzebub brought her up freely, so...he's curious.]
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He nods quietly, leaning his hands against his knees.]
...She was our little sister. Belphie and Lilith and I... we always spent a lot of time together in the Celestial Realm. We were really close.
She was always getting into trouble. She loved challenges, and asking us to do things with her. But what she really loved was humanity. I think she got it from Belphie. He'd always sneak off to the human world, and she loved Belphie so much that she would go with him.
She was always really happy down there.
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An angel who loved humanity, hm? Though we are not of the same world, it is...heartening, to hear that it is the case somewhere.
Did any of you ever end up with adherents...?
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[He has to think about it for a second, confused.]
Like a glue?
[He doesn't know what this means, sir.]
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...
He can't help but think about a similar miscommunication in their first meeting, and how drastically things have changed since then. At least small joys like this haven't changed one bit.]
Not quite, though it is the same word. I speak of an adherent in the context of a religious disciple. For example, I am an adherent of the Order of the Sacred Flame, albeit a more dubious one in recent years.
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[Disciple he knows!! Education! Still, he shakes his head.]
No. No disciples. Our Father had millions. But angels can't really be worshipped the same way. They can only choose one human to be a personal guardian over. So it's better to keep a distance and not interfere with humanity.
...
Lilith was different, though. She always wanted to be with them.
And she eventually found someone. Not who she wanted to be guardian towards... but a human she loved.
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But as Beelzebub continues, Temenos's expression goes a bit murky and he thoughtfully licks at his ice cream.]
I imagine a guardian is likewise supposed to keep a distance. But she got to know this human personally?
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We didn't mind. Lilith was really happy. Really, really happy.
[He wonders, so often, if they'd stepped in earlier... if they could have prevented too much of an escalation.]
But humans don't live forever. This one didn't either. They got sick. And Lilith... she didn't want to see them die. So she snuck food from the Celestial Realm down to them to help heal them. She interfered.
Father wouldn't allow for that.
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Temenos frowns, knowing where this must be going. It's not just that, though. Just knowing that the Celestial Realm apparently doesn't interfere with these sorts of things is disappointing. He remembers spending so much time fervently praying to the gods to help Roi when he was similarly sick. Roi recovered, but...Temenos honestly doubts that it had anything to do with his prayers being answered. It just gives him all the more confirmation he needs that his choice to stop relying on gods was the right one.
He's sure there's a difference, with Lilith directly interacting with this person and potentially revealing her true identity. It's risky, what with the darkness that naturally dwells within humans. Even so...]
...and so she was punished. Correct?
1/2
Lucifer had already been dissatisfied with Father. A lot of us were having doubts. But that just pushed us over the edge. We started a war with Father and the Celestial Realm. Lilith joined us.
...
2/2
[He lets out a shaky breath.]
I was in charge of protecting both of them. Belphie, and Lilith. But...
I didn't see the arrows until they were too late. And when I did, I... I only had time to choose one.
I watched her be shot from heaven. And Belphie... I don't know if he'll ever forgive me for that. For choosing him, instead of...
[It had to have fallen on him. His strength. His family. She might be here if not for what he couldn't do. Maybe if he'd payed more attention. Maybe if he'd kept them all together. Maybe...
Maybe he wouldn't have to see his family now with a hole in their heart where their sister used to be... the sister they wanted to save from death in the first place.]
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All of his attention focuses on Beelzebub from there on, watching him with growing concern as he recounts that horrible moment.]
Beel...
[If Beelzebub will allow it, Temenos shifts to link their arms again so he can hold onto him in a comforting gesture.]
That is a truly impossible choice to be forced into. I am so very sorry.
[The guilt in Beelzebub's eyes that Temenos has seen before makes so much more sense now. He doubts he could offer any sentiments that would assuage any of that guilt, but he can at the very least offer an ear and perhaps a shoulder.]
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His hand slips against Temenos's arm, his touch tense and his voice quiet.]
When I woke up, and I couldn't remember what had happened to you... it felt cold. All I could remember was how your voice had sounded.
Just like the last I remember of Lilith was the face she made. That she was horrified, and hurt...
...
[He won't be able to forget it. How could he? That was his fault, wasn't it??
He leans into Temenos's weight, his touch against the cleric gripping slightly, as though to remind him that yes, Temenos is still there.]
I was so scared I'd let that happen all over again with someone else I loved.
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He squeezes back, further reassuring Beelzebub of his presence.]
Fortunately, that did not come to pass. You've been through more than enough.
[He was horrified in the moment, though. It was just like what happened to Crick, only he was there to witness it firsthand. He wouldn't blame Beelzebub for it one bit if he had heard what Lobelia said to him, though. It was just...simply terrible in any angle one would look at it.]
I am still here, and I promise you that I am not going anywhere. I'll be here at your side for as long as you'll allow me.
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...Lobelia spoke to me, before everything went bad. In my head. He's done it before.
He called me a coward. That I couldn't protect my family, and would never protect them, and that I couldn't protect Haruka and Xiao, either. That it was all my fault for not...
...
[He exhales, frustrated, pained... but Temenos is his grounding, of touch and smell and sight and the sound of his breath against the crash of the falls. So he tries to let the tension sink to the ground, letting his touch rub against Temenos's arm.]
I didn't want to believe him. But it's hard not to.
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As I have said before, Lobelia had a nasty penchant for singling out the weaknesses of others and exploiting them for his amusement...or for his own ends. He used your guilt as a weapon to goad you into a fight, and unfortunately, it played out exactly as he hoped.
You mustn't believe him, though. What happened to Haruka and Xiao could not have been prevented with how little prepared we were for it. You shouldn't shoulder the responsibility for that squarely upon yourself.
[Nor was it right for Lobelia to thrust blame upon him for it.]
Moreover... Allow me to ask you something: Do you truly wish to prove Lobelia right about anything after what he did to you? You've made your commitment to your family perfectly clear to me. Those weren't the words of a coward. You'll protect them, Beel. You won't lose anyone else.
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[It's a response that comes quietly, the demon looking a little overwhelmed and choked up at Temenos's response. He's right, and Beelzebub knows it. But the self-doubt still knaws at him.
His eyes drift out to the water, lips thinning as his touch travels against Temenos's arm, trying to collect himself and his thoughts.]
...
You have a lot of faith in me. I don't always understand it. But... I'm glad that you listen.
[He sighs, some of the tension of his shoulders dropping with the action. It's not a problem that can be fixed in one conversation, or even one extended vacation. But there's a comfort in letting the vulnerability lie on someone who Beelzebub trusts.]
I hope you're right. I want to believe you, and not him.
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"Doubt is what I do."
That was something of a catchphrase I'd developed for myself over the years. At first it was to protect my overly trusting brother from harm, but the world only kept giving me justification for my doubt. Soon enough, I couldn't even trust the Sacred Flame itself.
[He finally addresses the remainder of his cone before he continues.]
But I met someone during my travels who I came to hold dear. He often challenged my doubt and urged me to find faith in something again, even after I scoffed at his dreams and shook his very own trust in the church.
I hadn't realized how weary of that doubt I'd become until he confronted me about it.
[He lets out a sigh of his own and closes his eyes.]
I suppose this is my long-winded explanation for my faith in you. I want to support you to the best of my ability- to believe instead of doubt for a change. You are more than deserving of it.
[Doubt is powerful, after all. Especially self-doubt. If he can crack away at it bit by bit, then he'll consider it a success.]
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