gluttoning | SATURDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL (The World)

[There is only one family member of the Blake household in the hospital to start, and the only one that staff will allow without permission. People who want to know which room he is in will be fresh out of luck, no matter how hard they argue with security.

Around 5pm, Levi will arrive along with a man in his older twenties, deep black hair and glasses and an outfit pressed just so. Where Levi is anxious and hunched and keeping his eyes off everything but what he needs, the elder sibling is purposeful, commanding, on his phone more often than not and practically plowing them through security up to a waiting room.

Another brother will trickle in shortly after - a shorter, slim young man with dark hair highlighted with white underneath, dressed in clothes that look far too big for his frame and dark circles under his eyes, a fire in his voice as he screams at security. Booker Blake, can you use your ears or do I have to make it everyone's problem that you can't let me see my family??? He nearly passes out twice in his fits,, but gets even angrier when people try to intervene, like a horrifically angry cat. Eventually the blond young man from the arena comes down to fetch him and coast him up.

Eventually they may be able to sneak their way up and find an upper waiting area filled with the four brothers in various states of stress. But it doesn't look like any of them are being allowed in to see Barrett for long periods of time as doctors rush in and out. Good luck convincing any of them that anyone else is allowed to see their brother, either.... but maybe someone can get deets (or throw a fit) if they really wanted.]

Edited 2023-09-16 20:41 (UTC)

[For anyone who makes it to the waiting room, Levi can be found there curled up in one of the chairs away from everyone else. His eyes are red and puffy, and he looks absolutely sick to his stomach in worry. He even has to get up a few times to rush down to the nearest bathroom.

But as time passes, and the doctors announce to the family that Barrett is in stable condition and will be okay, Levi finally starts to calm down a bit. He might be more willing to talk at this point, but he buries his face in his phone or games for the most part. Occasionally he'll have Booker snuggled up against him to commiserate. Or just to nap. Both of them could use it at this point.]

( Mithrun has been physically restrained by different people across the span of the day since the incident mid-match, and, even now, it's Cael (a soft gentleman in a wheelchair who looks very much worried and out of his depth) who's on duty holding onto Mithrun's hand; in part out of comfort, in part to make sure he stays. There isn't even really any reason for him to need to run off right now; clearly, he understands Barrett is unconscious but stable. There's nothing to see. But still, he looks liable to jet if not held onto.

At some point or another he's fixed his gaze on Levi, and at some point it looks like he's boring holes into him. He'll speak up if Levi doesn't, but he may also just be looking at him with such intensity his gaze might qualify as psychological torture under the Geneva convention. )

[Levi's in the middle of trying to distract himself with a game, but he suddenly can't shake the feeling that he's being watched. Lo and behold, he catches Mithrun's intense gaze and practically jumps in his seat.]

M-Mithrun...?

[He hasn't really stopped to talk to any of those who got brought up to the waiting room, simply sparing glances at the drama unfolding in something of a fugue state. But this person has to be Mithrun. That much he can guess.]

( ...

Mithrun's voice falls a little lower, though not by much. Can't be that secretive in a waiting room. )

... Was there anything else about his leg you noticed?

( Yesterday, when you were gaming. )

Did you tell her?

[ at any other time… any other time, hani would have messaged kara themself but. ]

[Levi of course knows who Hani means, so he nods solemnly.]

...Yeah. While I was on the way here. We're, um...we're gonna talk over the phone later.

[Who knows when that'll be. Probably sometime in the middle of the night when they finally have to go to a hotel and get some sleep.]

I see… Will you make sure she’s alright? [ a little more quietly: ] She’s only… only recently become happy…

And please let her help you be alright, too.

[At first, it feels like Hani's asking something impossible of him. He barely has himself together. How can he help Kara in this state? When he can't even go be with her in person?

...but he reminds himself that sometimes, just someone's general presence is more than enough. Getting to talk to Kara—just hearing her voice—would help him feel better. Hopefully he can do the same for her.

He nods again.]

I know. I'm- I'm not gonna let that happiness disappear.

[Not when she was the one who brought happiness back into his life too.]

Edited 2023-09-17 00:10 (UTC)

Not just “that” happiness.

[ they touch him on the arm, just gentle comfort, nothing more. you’ll be okay, they think. we’ll be okay.

he needs to be okay. ]

Her happiness is you, so try to take care of yourself. He’s - Bear-kun… doesn’t ask. But I think you should if you need help.

[ it’s not like hani to storm anywhere, but it sure seems like they want to as swift steps take them into the waiting area, clutching justy’s hand the entire way. they’re also not someone who’s used to being told no - about anything. and all of their worry and frustration about bear has built up into a rolling ball of agitation that crashes around in the walls of their mind.

hani walks into the waiting room like they belong there, the same way they’d walked into morgan’s empty apartment. and they will not leave until they get some answers.

there’s a corner of the room that’s empty of the brothers; that is where they choose to sit. no one looks happy in this room, certainly, but hani looks… frighteningly still for all the chaos clattering around their mind, tumbling down the sharp edges of their heart, and into the pit of their stomach. ]

[ Tylor allows the storm to take him, hand in hand, calm and windswept. Frighteningly still though they may be, Tylor is here to squeeze their hand and press a kiss to their hair in the quieter moments no matter how they look.

He remembers this part too. An echo of Morgan's stay. A different situation. A different hospital. But similar. Though for Tylor, even that all feels longer ago than it was. Because the present him, M&M, alive and breathing, is sitting just across the way, beside Cael.

Tylor'd helped them all here, still with some energy to spare after restraining, carrying, and consoling since Bear's injury. Even when he runs low, he can always find more for Hani or Morgan.

It feels natural, just the two of them, to switch to Japanese. ]

すべてが大丈夫になる。

Edited 2023-09-18 06:44 (UTC)

そうかな………

[ doubt keeps hani’s tone low, words flowing through numb lips. they press close to justy, seeking more of his open, offered comfort.

here’s everything running through their thoughts, only for him to hear because they can tell him anything. some things are just easier to admit in the space between them. ]

どうしたらいいのかい？ガニ君も、モルガン君も、ビアー君も……… それでもしジャスティ君になにかあったら、僕どうするのかい？こころが壊れちゃうかも………

Edited 2023-09-18 22:17 (UTC)

おお。そんなに心配させている理由か？でもどれもハニーのせいじゃないよ。

[ Tylor's response starts out light yet genuine, meaning every word. But Hani's own words filter in, and he can't help but hold them a little tighter. It's hard. He resists the brief spike of an urge to break away now instead, before it has a chance to hurt so bad. Before Hani spirals into nothingness again.

He doesn't want anyone to hurt for his own wants. But he wants them as long as he can have them. Selfishly. ]

たとえ何かが起こっても、ハニーに再び幸せを見つけてほしいと思っている。心が立ち直れなかったら、本当に悲しくなる。

試してみませんか、私のために約束してくれますか？

[ By the end, he is too polite, a quiet request that matters to him.

And then he's light again, with a honey joke and a little laugh as he runs his hand over their arm; squeezing that more playfully as he grins and then says it-- ]

ハニーは私の蜂蜜だからね？

[ from 「僕」 to 「私」; from his playful tone to the serious one, resting lower and more vulnerable than all the other variations of him. it’s a conscious choice, it takes effort - hani knows that. they do, but -

they bury their face into his arm. they want to listen, but they don’t. the promise is right there on hani’s lips, ready to be heard.

they swallow it down. selfishly. ]

イヤだ。したくないんだ。僕たち、ずっと一緒だから。

[ one day, morgan might leave them both. eventually his path might diverge from theirs. if justy leaves too, if hani has to say goodbye to the two halves of their heart, what will be left? will there be anything at all? ]

約束できない。したくない。ごめんね、ごめんね………

約束する必要はない。大丈夫、大丈夫。まだいるよ。

[ Tylor says it lowly, free hand seeking Hani's head, to stroke their hair. His slouch over them is more protective than lazy. His voice is low, even if no one else can understand them. Probably. ]

もちろん3人でずっと一緒にいたいでいつまでも幸せでいてほしいだ。

[ A sigh. ]

しかし、永遠に生きられる人はいないで幸せを決して諦めてほしくないのです。

私なしでは幸せになろうともしないのですか？本当に？

わかる。

[ one word, nearly toneless. everything after is said under their breath, knowing he’ll catch every word. but only him. they don’t want to be brittle in front of bear’s brothers. ]

ジャスティ君いなくても、僕．．．生きていく。それくらいできる。

[ that’s the most they can offer, something realistic for them. a promise they can keep. asking for happiness at that point seems nigh impossible.

意味ない、意味ない

if there’s only one left, out of three, what would be their purpose past simply existing until they reach their own entrance to 「黄泉」…? ]

ジャスティ君のせいじゃない。僕、自分勝手で、欲張りだよ。

[ Tylor is quiet through the loss of tone, the drop of their voice. He hears it all, tension easing, only for him to match Hani's volume. Outwardly, he looks calm as ever watching the room while stroking Hani's hair gently. But this close, there's no missing the heat of it, the slip back into intimate by speech choice alone.

ハニー, ハニー, ハニー. ]

今ハニーをとても愛してハニーはその気持ちを決して忘れること。

[ That's all, until the rest tumbles out of Hani. His fingers curl just a touch. ]

Shh. [ comforting, soft, in no way a shushing. ] ハニーもせいじゃないよ。まだ愛している。ぼくに悪い人で壊れた人じゃない。You're just right, 覚えていないの？

ハニーはぼくとモルガンの素晴らしくユニークなハニーだ。そんな大切なことを忘れないでください。

[ hani breathes in the scent of his love, clean cypress and everything else that makes up justy, ueki, and tylor. some of that is their own scent now, too, from their bed to their laundry mixed into a basket of each other. ]

うん、この気持ちは消えない。僕、この気持ちを、この愛をあきらめない。忘れられない。

[ sometimes. sometimes they have the urge to just sit in his things, wear his clothes and be surrounded by all little parts of him scattered around the apartment. every good and messy thing. every cluttered part of him charms them, every simple desire they want to take as their own and grant it to him.

but some things aren’t possible for them, and they can only offer what is. ]

君たちいなくても．．．そのとき、僕は幸せを見つけられないかも。でもね、それまでの幸福の思い出を決して忘れないと。

[ memories engraved on their lonely heart should they arrive at the end alone. that's why… ]

大丈夫さ。

それからぼくが求めることができるのはそれだけだ。

[ And yet, the way he says it, the way he presses another light kiss to Hani's hair by its end, is pure and honest contentment. Because Hani is enough, as they always will be for as long as Tylor is permitted to stay by their side. Accepted wholly, thoroughly.

Seriousness can only ever last so long with Tylor. So despite the warmth, he playfully mirrors their words back again. Just like they'd done to him. ]

ハニーも大丈夫さ。

[ There's a squeeze, a brief pause, before-- ]

ねーお腹すいたの？

[ and it cycles back to both of them being enough for each other.

hani brings his hand to their lips, holding it in both of theirs like a wish, like hope. they press a long kiss to the back of it and murmur a spell in three words. ]

ううん、まだ。あとで、家族として………モルガン君も、お兄さんも。[ they switch back to english. ] All of us, together.

… If we don’t feed him, he might not eat.

うん。家族として。もちろん。

[ It's the first time he's thought of it like that since his parents. A comfortable warmth settles in his core at Hani's phrasing, melting him a little more subtly against them.

But Tylor follows seamlessly back into English. ]

Oh, you're right. Let's go later then, all together.

[ For now, peace. ]

SATURDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL (The World)

SATURDAY 9/16 - CRMC Hospital, Fresno

cw: anxiety, mild emeto

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